And I'm Home

Words won't express the way it felt to say goodbye at Fukushima station. The words sad, the words painful don't do it. Perhaps horrific captures the way it felt to watch their crying, screaming faces as the doors of the train came to a life-ending close. The horror, the tears, the pain.

Words won't express the way it felt to fly from Japan. The words sick, the words surreal don't do it. Perhaps unbelievable captures the way it felt to watch the bright lights fade as I flew away from the life I'd been living. The sadness, the tears, the pain.

Words won't express the way it felt to land alone in Sydney. The words confusing, the words complicated don't do it. Perhaps insane captures the way it felt to search for a so called domestic terminal and a plane all alone. The hurt from the day before, the tears, the nervousness.

Words won't express the way it felt to walk through the gate in Adelaide. The words lifting, the words amazing don't do it. Perhaps magical captures the way it felt to be back in the arms of my mum, her smell, the same feeling, to be back in the arms of my dad, his neck breaking embrace, the same feeling, to be back in the arms of my sister, her lanky frame and boney shoulders, the same feeling and to be back in the arms of my boy, the strength and warmth, the same feeling.

Now I am torn. It really hurts to be home. Realised how much the little things make our lives, how much I love everyone, and how much Japan will always be a part of me. Will never forget the station, the minute at 2.47pm at Fukushima, the moment where I think I heard my glass heart break.